Get Off Your Buts and Live a Value-Driven Life ... THAT'S A FREAKIN' ORDER!

What if I told you that I have the key to controlling anxiety, or depression, or anger, or whatever might be ailing you, psychologically speaking?  What if I told you that after 30 years of searching, I finally figured it out, this “psychotherapy” business?  There are probably hundreds, if not thousands, of self-help psychology books out there, and they all claim to have “the answer”. What if I told you that controlling anxiety is not the answer to your troubles, but the problem?  What if I told you that the answer to controlling your anxiety is to give up the struggle and simply accept the anxiety?  Would you think I am crazy? Yes, probably. Would you be right? Well, maybe. But, what do you have to lose by reading a little further and finding out if what I am saying makes sense, then deciding if you want to keep reading and, possibly, changing your life forever? If you are looking for a quick fix, you have come to the wrong place. If you are looking for an exciting new way of living and are willing to do some work to get wherever you want to be, psychologically, this is the book for you. But first, a little background about me. 

I am a combat and disabled veteran, retired military officer, and licensed professional counselor with over 30 years of experience and education in clinical psychology and cognitive-behavioral therapy.  I was an Assistant Professor of Behavioral Sciences and Leadership and counselor at the United States Air Force Academy from 1988 to 1993 and  am author of the future New York Times Best Seller: You Think, You Are…Anxious: A Journey from Avoidance to Acceptance, the first installment in the You Think, You Are series.  I will bestow my knowledge and wisdom, a proprietary approach to cognitive-behavioral therapy known as Body-Mind-Behavior Therapy (BMBT), in the first of the series, which follows forthwith.

The earliest cognitive-behavioral therapists lived thousands of years ago and the origins of cognitive-behavioral psychology go back as far as Buddha (563-483 BC) who said, “We are what we think; we are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think.” Actually, he said it in Chinese, because his English was not great.  Confucius (551-479 BC) also pointed out (in Chinese, of course) the importance of thoughts and mindfulness in behavior, when he said, “The more man meditates upon good thoughts, the better will be his world and the world at large.”  How about that!  Those two guys were pretty smart because, here we are two thousand five hundred years later and, we have only recently rediscovered the validity and usefulness of these profound statements.  

Wait a minute; did he say he was a future New York Times bestselling author?  Bestow his knowledge and wisdom?  What? Is he nuts?  Some might think so, but I prefer to think of myself as mildly eccentric.  But, think about what Buddha said for a minute: “We are what we think” (hence, the title of this book and series).  It is so true, but we take it for granted that sometimes, many times, in fact, that what our minds tell us is far from reality, yet the majority of the time we believe exactly what our thoughts tell us, even though our thoughts may not be, and probably are not, true.  Scientists say that we have as many as 50,000 thoughts a day. If we knew how accurate our memories actually are at remembering things correctly, we would be hesitant to believe anything that goes through our minds.  The mind is a very funny thing as we shall see as we progress in our “Journey from Avoidance to Acceptance”.

How many times have you been absolutely sure something was true, but it turned out not to be the case (or vice versa)? “I’m going to get really nervous during that upcoming presentation and forget what I’m supposed to say.”  “What an idiot I am.”  “Those people are laughing at me because I’m fat.”  Is what you think is reality or are they just thoughts?  What goes through your mind could possibly be true, you could get nervous, freeze, and forget what to say in front of a bunch of people, but it most likely would not happen, had you not given those doubts credibility in the first place.  Nevertheless, you believe the thoughts anyway, making yourself more nervous than you probably need to be, a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts.  Because you think you will get nervous, you, in fact, become nervous which, in turn, negatively affects your performance, making you even more nervous. That is what we call “meta-cognition”, which can be defined as “thinking about thinking” (cognition originates from the Latin verb cognoscere, literally meaning "to know") or, in this case, getting nervous about getting nervous, and it is ruining your life! It is also an excellent example of a vicious cycle, a cycle which, if not interrupted or broken, can escalate out of control into severe anxiety or full-blown panic.

So what are you going to do about it?  Well, you can do nothing about it and be miserable for the rest of your life, or, you could try to sort things out on your own, maybe read a self-help book (like this one), or you can get some help from a professional counselor.  Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is the most widely researched mode of psychotherapy and efficacious (that is scientist talk for “effective”), particularly when it comes to anxiety and depression.  But, what exactly is CBT?  Well, I am going to tell you, the way I understand it, and introduce you to my approach to cognitive behavioral therapy, what I call Body-Mind-Behavior Therapy or BMBT, for short.

BMBT is a cognitive behavioral approach, in that we focus on thoughts and behaviors, but is different to traditional CBT, in that with BMBT, we focus on changing the context of thought rather than the content. That might not make much sense right now, but I am going to explain it to you in simple English (not Chinese) and in “un-”scientific terms, but first we need to know how we got here . . . a little history perhaps.

Behavior therapy got its start in the 1920s and 1930s, but really took off in the 50s when Joseph Wolpe designed a method called systematic desensitization.  In the late 1950s and early 1960s, Albert Ellis and Aaron Beck began what we call cognitive therapy today, a therapy where negative automatic thoughts (aka NATS – like those annoying little buggers that swarm around your head on a hot summer day and drive you nuts, but spelled slightly differently) are analyzed, challenged, and tested. Because their methods contained behavioral elements as well (exposure, activity scheduling, and so on), the therapy has commonly become known as cognitive behavioral therapy or CBT for short.  In the 1980s, along came the "third wave" (as Steven Hayes and others have called it) of cognitive behavioral therapy.  Dr. Marsha Linehan developed a therapy called Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) for the treatment of borderline personality disorder at the University of Washington and Steven Hayes developed what is now known as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT - pronounced like the word, not as an acronym) at the University of Nevada in Reno.  Both DBT and ACT incorporate "mindfulness" and "acceptance" into CBT, hence the tag "third wave" which has become associated with these evolutionary and revolutionary new treatments.  MBMT (BMBT??)incorporates the best of CBT, DBT, and ACT into a powerful, yet extremely simple package, a package that is deceptively basic and drastically different than anything you have ever tried before.  Are you getting excited yet?

Well, don’t get too excited just yet because here is the bad news. People in general, and Americans in particular, spend a lot of time (and money) being anxious and depressed.  According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), some 40 million American adults, 18 percent (nearly two (2) out of every ten (10) people), suffer from an anxiety disorder in any given year.  The anxiety disorders include specific phobias (like acrophobia – fear of heights – accounting for 8.7%), social anxiety disorder (fear of people and being evaluated – public speaking anxiety is an example - 6.8%), post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD – a devastating disorder, resulting from a severe trauma – making up another 3.5%), generalized anxiety disorder (excessive worry - 3.1%), panic disorder (strong, urgent anxiety attacks that come out of the blue - 2.7%), obsessive-compulsive disorder (or OCD – hoarding, excessive checking, or fear of contamination are examples - 1%), and, finally, agoraphobia (fear of open spaces – more accurately, the fear of having a panic attack when away from home - often found with panic disorder -  coming in at .8%).  If that were not bad enough, another 9.5 percent of the U.S. population, age 18 and older, (nearly one out of every ten people), has a mood disorder, like depression or bi-polar disorder, in any given year according to the NIMH.  These disorders (illnesses, problems…pick a label) cost millions, if not billions, of dollars each year in therapy, visits to general practitioners, medications (can you say Zoloft?), and lost productivity, including missing work.

Now for the good news.  The anxiety and mood disorders we have been talking about can be treated quite effectively with CBT, DBT, ACT or, in this case, BMBT.  As a matter of fact, the vast majority (nine out of ten) of the "well-established" empirically supported treatments (according to the American Psychiatric Association) for the anxiety and mood disorders are cognitive-behavioral.  In simple terms, CBT works very well for many problems, anxiety and depression in particular.  Over the next several chapters, I will be describing BMBT in much more depth, taking a lot of the mystery out of psychotherapy and dispelling many of the myths that surround it.  If you have seen the show Obsessed on A&E, a show about OCD and CBT, you have a very rough, and I do mean very rough, idea of how cognitive-behavioral therapy works, at least for people with OCD.  I will now give you a brief glimpse of what is to come in upcoming chapters.

I will start by providing a historical overview of where cognitive behavioral therapy has been, and where it is going, looking at some of the philosophies and theories behind cognitive  behavioral therapy as it has evolved and how it exists today. I will briefly discuss B.F. Skinner, Albert Ellis, Aaron Beck, Marsha Linehan, Steven Hayes and the tremendous contributions these incredibly talented individuals have made over the past half-century as well as the theories behind their successes. It is important to know where you have been, at times, to have an idea of where you are going, and the people I mentioned, and their theories, are at the forefront of psychotherapy today. Notice I did not say “cognitive behavioral” psychotherapy, I said “psychotherapy” in general, because the cognitive behavioral therapies are the most studied, effective, and widely used of all therapies in existence.

I will then elaborate on mindfulness and acceptance, both of which are the key to successful treatment, particularly for anxiety.  Mindfulness has been integrated into cognitive behavioral therapy by asking clients to focus on the here-and-now, using techniques derived from Zen Buddhism.  Mindfulness is not a spiritual process in the sense that it is associated with any particular religion (as it is used in DBT, ACT, and BMBT anyway ???), it is a state of mind which allows the client to maintain contact with the present, allowing him or her to accept thoughts, memories, and emotions as they are, without judgment.  This is a powerful method of reducing anxiety and other painful psychological problems, and is something I strongly encourage my clients to try.  Personally, I find no conflict between mindfulness, acceptance, and my faith, but that is a judgment you will have to make for yourself.  Cognitive behavioral therapy can work quite well without the mindfulness component, but I believe you will be short-changing yourself if you ignore it. You can find a series of mindfulness exercises on the accompanying CD, along with several other resources we will be talking about later, making this an extremely user-friendly experience and complete package, one-stop shopping for your psyche, if you will.

Next is “dialectical” thinking, the cornerstone of Linehan’s DBT and a philosophy I embrace in BMBT.  The dialectical philosophy is too complex to explain here, but basically entails looking at things in terms of shades of “grey”, getting away from “black and white” or “dichotomous” (all or nothing) thinking many of us tend to gravitate toward.  The primary dialectic Linehan teaches is “acceptance versus change”, where the therapist accepts the client (and the client accepts her/himself) as he/she is in the here-and-now, validating any problems and struggles, while pushing him/herself to change for the better.  It is not the therapist that challenges thoughts or makes the decisions, it is you, the client (or reader), that makes the decisions, with expert assistance from a professional counselor, or in this case,  my book.

There are four primary factors involved in mental health (or mental disorders), factors that can become a “vicious cycle” when they get out of whack and left unattended. The four factors I am talking about are physiology (BODY -biochemical imbalances, diet, sleep, exercise), cognition (MIND – like those nasty, annoying NATS), behavior (BEHAVIOR - smoking, overeating, drinking), and affect (or emotions, a combination of BODY, MIND, and BEHAVIOR).  If any one of these domains becomes unstable, it can throw the whole system out of balance, resulting in anxiety, depression, or some other psychological problem. 

Figure 1

As a matter of fact, the logo on the front and back covers (Figure 1), which I created for my practice in Kansas City, includes the Greek letter "psi", representing psychology, and the circular blue arrows surrounding the symbol represent the physiological (BODY), cognitive (MIND), behavioral (BEHAVIOR), and emotional (BODY + MIND + BEHAVIOR) components of the human psyche.  As I alluded to earlier, those four components constantly interact to make you sad or anxious, a “vicious cycle”, or happy and serene, what I like to call a “precious cycle”.  I will address each of these factors separately, and in detail, so you understand how they can affect you and what you can do to help them work in harmony.

Life skills are skills that make it easier to navigate life, even when anxious or depressed, and are skills everyone can benefit from understanding and practicing.  We already mentioned one of them and that is mindfulness.  The others are distress tolerance (stuff you can do when things get rough), interpersonal effectiveness (how to get along with others and stand up for yourself at the same time), and emotional regulation (tools you can use to feel less stressed).  These really are very simple tools, but you will be surprised by how easy it is to forget how to use them when you are feeling stressed, anxious, or worried. I will explain how to recognize and use these tools, when appropriate, to help you be more effective in life and content in the present moment.

I will then address the biggest threat to mental health in general, and the crux of the anxiety disorders: avoidance.  Avoidance takes many forms, but some of the most common are smoking, overeating, excessive drinking, drug abuse, and sexual (and other) addictions (can you say video games???).  But are those not behaviors (you are probably asking yourself)?  Yes, they are behaviors, avoidant behaviors, because they help you avoid the things that are really bothering you, like those nasty NATs that are contributing to your anxiety and/or depression.  You can, and do, also avoid thoughts, physical sensations, emotions, and other “internal” behaviors.  In short, avoiding what you are afraid of, or find distressing is what causes and perpetuates anxiety (and depression). 

Now that we have a solid foundation, the real work begins! I will next take you through a series of steps (chapters) using experiential techniques and exercises while explaining the intent of those techniques and exercises in simple terms, something Steven Hayes would probably argue against doing, but that I believe is essential when dealing with intelligent, thoughtful human beings.

We will first review all of the things you have tried, to control anxiety over the years, but have obviously failed at, or you would not be reading this book. As I mentioned earlier, control is the problem, not the solution. It seems somewhat counterintuitive and it is, because, again, as I told you earlier, my approach is unlike anything else you have tried before. What you have been doing does not work, so how about taking a radically different approach? What some might call “thinking outside the box”.

We will then determine how you view yourself and offer some alternatives, giving you a solid foundation on which we can build a totally same you. Same? Not new? That is correct. There is nothing wrong with you, nothing broken. You have simply learned to think the way you do, the way that makes you anxious, and you can learn to think in a way that does not make you anxious.

Next, we will try some things that will give you a new perspective on anxiety and emotions. You will experience a new way of thinking about your thoughts, sensations, behaviors, and emotions, focusing on the context rather than the content, a deceptively complex, yet simple alternative to the way you have been doing it for so long.

The next step in the process will be to look very hard at your values.  Not the values you think you should have because your mother or partner wants you to be a certain way, but the values that are important to you.  To put it simply, those which would be important to you if you knew that nobody else would know what those values are.  Once you determine your true values, and I am not talking about hardware, setting specific goals based on those values and committed actions, is the obvious next step.  By having a clear guide, goals that are based on your values, and making a commitment to yourself (and others if you wish) to live your life every day in accordance with your values, you will find it much easier to face and conquer the fears which have become so debilitating and disabling.

In the final chapter, I will pull it all together, giving you step-by-step assistance in implementing this new way of living, along with some possible pitfalls, those things we therapists call “relapse prevention”.  I will also explain what a typical session and course of treatment might look like for those of you who decide to seek assistance from a trained professional. 

Body-Mind-Behavior Therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy are really very simple and straightforward, and all we as therapists do is teach you and coach you along until you know how to help yourself.  If you listen intently, are motivated to change and face your fears, and work collaboratively with your therapist, you too can live a long, happy, and fulfilling life. 

Finally, I will explain everything you ever wanted to know about psychotherapists, but were afraid to ask. Do you know the difference between a psychologist, a life coach, a licensed professional counselor, a spiritual healer, and a psychiatrist?  Well, if you do not know, and are planning on seeking treatment at some point, it could be the most important information you ever learned.  The differences are HUGE and the cost to you could be enormous, not only in terms of money thrown out the window, but in your emotional well-being as well. 

Are you ready to start your journey from avoidance to acceptance? Well hold onto your seat, because here we go....

On the Front Lines in the Battle Against the Negative Military Mental Health Treatment Stigma...Follow Me!

The CombatCounselor Chonicle

IS GETTING HELP A CAREER KILLER?...IT IS NOW!

LETTER TO THE EDITOR
AIR FORCE TIMES
OCTOBER 5TH, 2012

I have written to Air Force Times on numerous occasions and feel like I am wasting my time, so this will likely be my last contact. My primary concerns have related to military and Veteran mental health issues and the stigmas associated with seeking and receiving treatment as well as what a PTSD diagnosis can do to a military career.

I am a retired lieutenant colonel, veteran of four combat operations, disabled veteran, and licensed professional counselor (since 1991), specializing in the treatment of anxiety (e.g. PTSD) and depression with active duty and Vets. I am also executive director of the non-profit Help4VetsPTSD, Inc., a relatively young organization dedicated to helping active duty and Veterans with PTSD. I also consult with a DoD contractor providing short-term, solution-focused counseling to active duty military, Guard and Reserve personnel, and their families.

I have experienced the stigma firsthand, both while on active duty and as a clinician, before and after retirement. I thought your publication was on the right track in helping to eliminate the stigmas, until I read "IS GETTING HELP A CAREER KILLER?" (Kristin Davis) in your October 8, 2012 issue.

In a little more than one page, you managed to hinder any progress we have made in recent years and highlighted WHY AIRMEN (AND OTHERS) NEED TO BE AFRAID, VERY AFRAID, OF SEEKING MENTAL HEALTH TREATMENT, OR WORSE, TALKING ABOUT IT! I find it hard to believe that anybody with any common sense reviewed or edited that piece before publication. If there was not a negative stigma before...THERE IS SURE TO BE ONE NOW! What were you people thinking?

I am appaled by the lack of judgement in publishing such a piece and believe the reasons for NOT PUBLISHING THE ARTICLE in question are too numerous and obvious to mention.

For those who do not have the opportunity to read it, Ms. Davis reported on an Air Force NCO (non-commisioned officer) who sought help and educated other airmen, telling them about his battle with alcohol (which he is currently winning by the way) and other mental health issues. His supervisor, an obvious Neanderthal and ignorant moron, killed this gentleman's career by making statements about his alcoholism ON HIS ENLISTED PERFORMANCE REPORT (EPR) and marking him down, both career ending behaviors. The NCO in question, a master sergeant (E-7), appealed his "referral" EPR to his superiors and the Inspector General, and was turned away!

Everyone in the Air Force, Army, Navy, and Marines have heard plenty of horror stories like this one and now they have one more...a page and a half's worth in Air Force Times!

We do not need to hear more horror stories while 19 military and Veterans each day commit suicide...that is correct...19 each day! As long as these stigmas are perpetuated in the media, young heroes, our military and veteran men and women, will continue to die. For the first time in recorded history, MORE PEOPLE ARE DYING OF SUICIDE IN THE MILITARY THAN ARE DYING IN COMBAT!

The space taken up by that garbage could have been better utilized by providing accurate information about the stigma(s), what the implications of the stigma(s) are (e.g. suicides), and proposals on what we can do about it. We need a positive discussion started in this country, educating the public, our elected officials, and military leaders, about the problems in military and veteran mental health treatment and figure out a way to fix them...SOON!

Air Force/Military Times has at least one "supposed" expert on staff, Bret Moore (Kevlar for the Mind), who should have, at least, reviewed the article before publication. Hopefully, he would have recommended squashing the story before it went to print, but based on some of his work, I am not confident that would have happened either.

On a similar note, Robert Dorr's (a long time writer for Air Force Times who gets about one-third of a page EVERY week - Why? I don't know) comments last week on the American-Indian gentleman being "wrong" in his perception, that some nose art depicting Native-Americans in the Air Force is offensive, is ludicrous and insensitive. A perception cannot be wrong and the young man has a right to stand up for his heritage and beliefs! What is wrong is printing garbage like that Mr. Dorr regularly spews onto the page, like black and white vomit, and the Davis article in question this week on career killing...WRONG Air Force Times...shame on you Ms. Ianotta! Becky Ianotta is Managing Editor, Air Force Times.

CombatCounselor...OUT!

Reduce Defense Spending ... Are You Serious?

According to Money Magazine (October 2012, p. 85), 68% of those polled (Republicans AND Democrats) think the United States should cut defense (military) spending. Military Times has reported on numerous occasions that the Department of Defense (DoD), Congress, and President Obama all want to cut personnel and retiree benefits, that is a fact. What are these geniuses thinking? What is 68% of the population, supposedly, thinking? You got me friends!

We have been at war with Al Qaeda, and others, for 13 years and our military, if not dead already, are worn out, exhausted, and not really appreciated, even though "thank you for your service" has become the "catch" phrase since 9/11. Our heroes in uniform, past, present, and future, put their families, health, and lives on the line every day ... for your freedom folks.

So now that Osama Bin Laden is dead, we are out of Iraq (for the time being, in mass anyway), and things are winding down in Afghanistan, we have nothing to worry about ... right? Military retention rates are at all time highs thanks to patriotism and a weak economy, so why not cut their (active duty, Guard, Reserves, and retiree) pay and benefits or, better yet, drum them out of the service altogether so we can save a few bucks? Forget those promises we (the government, recruiters) made about job security, lifetime healthcare, pensions, and other "retention" tools ... the threat is gone, over, history, so why not cut defense spending (that is shorthand for personnel and benefits? Do you really think the military (DoD) is going to give up any planes, tanks, ships, or helicopters?

I don't know about you, but I have a couple problems with that kind of thinking:

First, we, as a nation, made promises to our men and women in uniform and cannot change course now. That is immoral! Can you say integrity? Apparently not. Politicians and others can "talk the talk", but when it comes to keeping promises made to recruits, they DO NOT "walk the walk"! KEEP the promises you made (integrity) to those serving and those who have served. If you want to make changes, make them effective BEFORE future enlistees enlist, not after we obligated to and/or faithfully served our country.

Second, the president, Congress, and DoD ARE NOT focusing on fighting a few terrorists here and there, they are focusing on two very real, very large, very lethal threats ... CHINA (and their redheaded stepchild North Korea), IRAN, and Russia (again) thanks to their nutjob president, Vladimir Putin.

China is a military and nuclear superpower with BILLIONS of potential troops and Iran is on the verge of becoming a nuclear threat (beside having one of the most potent militaries in the Middle East), and is threatening one of the most unstable and economically critical regions in the world today ... ON A DAILY BASIS! Can you say OIL? How about nuclear holocaust? Israel? Are you people out if your freakin' minds?

So why not cut porkbarrel spending, pet projects, a bloated government full of useless programs and lazy workers (that is a generalization, there are many worthwhile programs and civil servants), or even cushy pensions for serving in Congress for a couple of years? Or why does the government not target the BILLION$ that goes down the drain every year due to FRAUD, WASTE? Because they do not care, memories are very short, and if there is not an immediate threat, citizens are selfish and want all the money to come to their way. That is human nature and means the politicians need to keep those voters happy so they can be reelected and receive those cushy pensions ... right?

In conclusion, our shortsighted predecessors cut defense spending after World Wars I and II, Korea, Vietnam, and even Gulf War I, but guess what? That's right, we got caught with our pants down when the next conflict came along. Do you have any idea how much we waste as a nation drawing down and building up our military as a reaction to world events , or worse, elections? BILLIONS ... JUST LIKE THOSE BILLIONS OF CHINESE just a stones throw from the United States of America ... can you say Alaska (Sarah Palin can see Russia from her house after all)? What about Hawaii? There is a place in Hawaii called Pearl Harbor ... have you heard of it?

China recently launched their first aircraft carrier and their defense budget has been increasing by at least 12% annually for decades. Who do you think they are preparing for? Al Qaeda? North Korea? No, they are preparing to take on the largest superpower in the world ... U.S. ... and we are going to be caught with our pants down once again. Why? For a few more votes ... for a few more self-centered, shortsighted, ignorant morons ... that's right, we call them POLITICIANS (lawyers mostly and we all know what Shakespeare said about lawyers).

DO NOT FORGET TO VOTE! I am not going to tell you WHOM to vote for, but vote with your conscience, and, ABOVE ALL, vote for a strong military and hold your elected officials accountable for protecting the FREEDOM we in the military have worked so hard TO EARN and DEFEND. Vote for president in 2016 or you might just be voting for a Chinese Premier in 2020.

That's the end of that tune ... CombatCounselor...OUT!

Chris Sorrentino, LtCol, USAF (Ret)

aka CombatCounselor

This article can be published in its entirety with the permission of C.T. Sorrentino, aka CombatCounselor, 3rd Wave Media Group, and 3rd Wave Publications

Key Words: benefits, budget, China, cuts, defense, election, government, Iran, Korea, military, Obama, pension, personnel, politics, spending, Vietnam, voters, war, Osama bin Laden, 

Copyright 2012-2014 - 3rd Wave Publications - All Rights Reserved

Tired of self-centered people?

Are you as sick and tired of self-centered people as I am? 
Learn why they act that way...read my explanation below and WATCH THE NEW 
CombatCounselor Q&A
Episode 7: Values
Sundays at 11AM (CST) ... or thereabouts..
ON THE 
COMBATCOUNSELOR CHANNEL

In this episode of CombatCounselor Q&A, Chris discusses "values" or the lack thereof in society, American and around the world, today. Individuals, institutions, and nation states are in disarray, and Chris believes it is because of a lack of or alienation from CORE VALUES. They either never had any values to begin with or have lost their way somehow.
Chris goes on to describe how to define values as well as how you can define your own values and goals. Without values and goals, people and institutions tend to act based on emotion, and that is not a smart way to act in a world where we depend on one another to survive.
Body-Mind-Behavior Therapy helps people and groups learn to focus on the present moment, StayPresent; develop resilience skills in order to be able to act more effectively when challenged by crisis, BeResilient; and how to define and commit to acting in accordance with those values...it does not get much simpler than that!

People who lack clear values have only one way to ACT when confronted with a crisis or novel situation...EMOTIONALLY...SELFISHLY because that is the way we, humans, are programmed. Think about it, life, since the beginning of time, has been about self-preservation, survival, so can we blame them?
Yes and no. We cannot blame them because, MOST OF THE TIME, it is a reaction, not a well thought out act or action. On The other hand, we can blame them for either not defining or not understanding their values and how their behavior impacts others. Believe it it not, it is a choice in many more ways than one.
Here is the link to this video: http://t.co/q87KaPvh
StayTheCourse
C.T. Sorrentino, LtCol, USAF (Ret)
aka CombatCounselor

Letter to the Editor: Double Standards, Waste, and Favoritism

General Rice - AETC, Commander - August 18th, 2012

Your September 10th, 2012 issue of Air Force Times had several letters posted condemning the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs for applying a double standard to retired officers publicly supporting political candidates while well-known flag officers (Colin Powell and Wes Clark among them) blatantly do the same exact thing on a much grander scale. I agree with many of the writers and am not surprised by the double standard imposed by the chief because flag officers are routinely held to a different, far more lenient standard than their lower ranking subordinates. Now that is leadership...leadership by example...isn't it?

I am also appalled by another piece describing AMC's "contract" with a Carolina pro hockey team. AMC and the writer apparently believe it is OK to throw hundreds of thousands of dollars at one sports team while ignoring dozens of others in several different sports. Why did AMC, whose headquarters is in Illinois, think they needed to support a team, under the guise of "public relations", in another state, spending unreported sums on "an 18-person luxury box" among other things?

Besides showing favoritism in contracting (was the contract open to bids from all other teams or was it SOLE SOURCE?), WASTE clearly and quickly comes to mind when DoD and the Air Force are cutting people and benefits rather than tightening the belt on such extravagant items as LUXURY SUITES!

Finally, on a similar note, the photo of General Edward Rice throwing out the first pitch at an August 18th Yankees game (September 17th, 2012 issue) also seems inappropriate on more than one level. I understand that the Air Force has to reach out to the public in terms of positive public relations, but why the Yankees when Rice's closest MLB franchise would be the Houston Astros or Texas Rangers, NOT THE YANKEES! Rice is commander of AETC which, last time I checked, is located on Randolph Air Force Base in San Antonio, TEXAS. The Yankees were not even playing a Texas team for crying out loud...they were playing the Boston Red Sox!

Two questions: 1) Why was Rice in New York and what genius thought it would be a good idea to show support for a team whose closest Air Force base is in New Jersey?; and 2) Why is Rice out of uniform, wearing a NY Yankees hat with his "blues"? If Rice saw another airman in uniform at the game wearing a Yankees hat (or any team for that matter), that airman would surely get a good old fashioned butt-chewing AT THE VERY LEAST.

So why the double standards? Why the waste when good, hard working, patriotic airmen are being drummed out in thousands while major commands and generals live the high life? I have not even mentioned Leon Panetta's $800K+ bill for government plane rides home every weekend, but that is a different story...or is it?

Chris Sorrentino, LtCol, USAF (Ret)
CombatCounselor

Copyright 2012 - C.T. Sorrentino and CombatCounselor - All Rights Reserved

You can read this letter in The CombatCounselor Chronicle http://www.CombatCounselor.blogspot.com

Follow me on Twitter @CombatCounselor

Or SUBSCRIBE to The CombatCounselor Channel 

LETTER TO THE EDITOR: AIR FORCE TIMES -"FEWER MOVES, LONGER TOURS...PLEASE!"

LETTER TO THE EDITOR: AIR FORCE TIMES -"FEWER MOVES, LONGER TOURS...PLEASE!"

It's about time somebody used some common sense! In your article, "FEWER MOVES, LONGER TOURS" - August 20,2012 - a much more common sense approach to deficits and budget woes is FINALLY discussed.Why cut personnel and benefits when there is such a simple solution? There are many thousands of airmen, soldiers, sailors, and Marines forced to move  each year, thousands that would happily stay in place another year or four.

Why not Minot you say? Minot and other perceived "less desirable" assignments are LOVED by many, so why not let folks stay where they are rather than uprooting a family clear across the country or globe? Some simple mathematics and computer programming could select from a pool of volunteers, leaving everybody else where they are for the time being.Ruin a career you say? Maybe it's time to change ignorant, archaic thinking (or even better...the thinkers) and NOT penalize those who want to remain on-station, saving taxpayers thousands in moving expenses, dislocation allowances, and travel costs...thousands for each person!

By the way, those are the same "thinkers" contributing to the negative stigma of military mental health, a stigma taking lives...one military member a day lost to suicide...but that's another story.

Chris Sorrentino, LtCol, USAF (Ret) CombatCounselor

Twitter @CombatCounselor

http://www.CombatCounselor.blogspot.com

http://www.KCCBT.com/combatcounselor.html

http://www.YouTube.com/combatcounselor

ExtrAversion? Clients of the Future? What About the Negative Military Mental Health Stigma?

Kaja Perina, Editor
Psychology Today Magazine
115 E. 23rd St., 9th Floor
New York, NY 10010

Dear Ms. Perina,

I have read your magazine for years and wish many more people would read it, eliminating many of the myths, fallacies, and stigmas surrounding mental health treatment. Thank YOU.

I would like to point out a couple things in regard to your Sep/Oct 2012 issue. On page 14, you used the term "extraversion". While not completely incorrect, the more widely used and accepted version is "extrOversion". Maybe I am missing something, so please let me know if that was intentional for some reason.  

I would also like to address Dr. Markman's blog post (Ulterior Motives) where he predicts clinician/s will "tailor learning strategies and behavior change techniques TO INDIVIDUALS" in the future. I am afraid Dr. Markman is a little behind the power curve (and times) if he is not already applying those tools in therapy. We have been providing individualized, tailored learning strategies and behavior change techniques for years, so I am not sure what the good doctors point may have been.  

Finally, please publish a piece on the negative stigma attributed to mental health treatment in the military. 19 heroes die every day to suicide because if it. Maybe we can save a few lives by addressing the stigma now rather than later.

Thank YOU for your time and consideration.

Chris Sorrentino, LtCol, USAF (Ret)
a.k.a CombatCounselor 

LETTER TO THE EDITOR: AIR FORCE TIMES - "FEWER MOVES, LONGER TOURS...PLEASE!"

Let's face it, moving to a new assignment every two to four years not only takes a toll on the defense budget and, ultimately, the national deficit, it affects individuals and families stressed by leaving home and friends, and jobs as well as many emotional scars. Moving is stressful! I know, having moved eight times in a 20-year career, relatively few compared to many of my comrades-in-arms.

It's about time somebody used some common sense! In the Air Force Times article, "FEWER MOVES, LONGER TOURS" - August 20,2012 - a much more common sense approach to deficits and budget woes was FINALLY discussed.

Why cut personnel and benefits when there is such a simple solution? There are many thousands of airmen, soldiers, sailors, and Marines forced to move each year, thousands that would happily stay in place another year...or four.

Why not Minot you say? Minot and other perceived "less desirable" assignments are LOVED by many, so why not let folks stay where they are rather than uprooting a family clear across the country or globe? Some simple mathematics and computer programming could select from a pool of volunteers, leaving everybody else where they are for the time being.

Ruin a career you say? Maybe it's time to change ignorant, archaic thinking (or even better...the thinkers) and NOT penalize those who want to remain on-station, saving taxpayers thousands in moving expenses, dislocation allowances, and travel costs...thousands for each person!

By the way, those are the same "thinkers" contributing to the negative stigma of military mental health, a stigma taking lives...one military member a day lost to suicide...but that's another story.

Sincerely,

Chris Sorrentino, LtCol, USAF (Ret)

CombatCounselor

Twitter @CombatCounselor

http://www.CombatCounselor.blogspot.com

http://www.KCCBT.com/combatcounselor.html

http://www.YouTube.com/combatcounselor

Help4VetsPTSD Unfunded...Again

August 23rd, 2012 - Kansas City, MO: Retired Air Force Lieutenant Colonel Chris Sorrentino, President and Executive Director of Help4VetsPTSD, made an announcement at Help4VetsPTSD's semi-annual board meeting last night, commenting on the disappointment he felt upon hearing the bad news about another grant lost: "We have a great organization that is just starting out and in desperate need of funding. Our mission, to help military and veterans (and their families) with PTSD, is critical and can actually SAVE LIVES! I do not understand how 'quality of life' programs can be funded over such a noble cause as ours, a program that CAN SAVE LIVES!".

On average, one military member and 18 veterans commit suicide EACH AND EVERY DAY, and PTSD is a significant factor in many. Sorrentino added: "Every day we go unfunded, another 19 lives are lost and that is absolutely appalling! The military and VA cannot keep up with demand and there are a shortage of trained, qualified therapists in the private sector. Help4VetsPTSD can help alleviate some of the suffering and many senseless suicides committed by over 6,900 of our military and veterans EVERY year...senseless!"

We as a nation waste billions on political campaigns, needless spending, and luxuries each year while many of our nation's heroes go jobless, homeless, with no mental health treatment, and ALMOST 7,000 of them choose to end their lives...7,000 MILITARY AND VETERANS COMMIT SUICIDE EVERY YEAR!

Stop the insanity! Help end the negative mental health stigma in the military and among veterans, leading directly or indirectly to joblessness, homelessness, and suicide.

PLEASE DONATE TO Help4VetsPTSD TODAY...EVERY DAY YOU WAIT, 20 HEROES DIE!

Visit http://www.Help4VetsPTSD.org for details.

You can follow them on Twitter @Help4VetsPTSD or "LIKE" their Facebook page


Help4VetsPTSD is a 501(c)(3) non-profit (pending) and donations are tax deductible.

Help4VetsPTSD Not Selected for Newman's Own Grant for Second year in a Row

August 10th, 2012 - Kansas City, Missouri: Vicki Reeping of Newman's Own and Fisher House Foundation announced that Help4VetsPTSD was unsuccessful for the second year in a row, not being selected for a grant they so desperately need.

Ms. Reeping stated: "We received 164 eligible programs this year, displaying a broad range of ideas to improve the quality of life for service members, Veterans, and their families. The judges had a difficult time narrowing it down, but have made their selections. The 6 programs recognized in 2012 will be posted on the Fisher House website on September 20, 2012....We wish you all success in your current efforts to support our Nation's heroes.

According to their website, Newman's Own Grant winners are chosen based on" potential impact on their respective communities, creativity, and innovation" and ability to "improve the quality of life for service members, Veterans, and their families." Six "civilian" judges, four female and two male, made the final decisions, decisions reflected in the charities chosen for the grants: 

Two Great New Apps for Clients...and Therapists

For those with psychological "issues", there are a couple of great new apps out there for troops (and civilians) to use . LifeArmor and PE Coach (prolonged exposure) are available for Android and iPhones and each has a place in a therapeutic context.

LifeArmor is for more general issues, offering a lot if great information and tools for A VARIETY of problems, including anxiety, depression, substance abuse, stress and much more. It is easy to use and interactive, making psychoeducation portable, easy, and fun!

PE Coach is much more specific, focusing on prolonged exposure (hence the PE), the "empirically supported treatment" (EST - that's short for "supported by lots of research") for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) developed by Foa, et al. PE Coach helps therapists and clients develop SUDS anchors, exposure hierarchies, homework assignments and even has an appointment tool and session recording/review option! This is a tool any therapist providing the EST of choice, PE, for PTSD should utilize! It's so simple and useful, I'm surprised nobody thought of it sooner.

Both apps are useful for INFORMATION PURPOSES, but are designed to augment, be used in conjunction with, therapy, conducted by A COMPETENT, LICENSED CLINICIAN.

LifeArmor and PE Coach are both available FOR FREE at Google's PlayStore, for those with Android phones. If you have an iPhone...you paid too much (and know where to go - I don't!).

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Social Dystrophy™: Are Technology or Values to Blame?

Would "Social Dystrophy" be an appropriate term for the lack of social skills endemic in today's population? I came up with the term “social dystrophy” while exercising at the YMCA last week, having experienced more then the usual number of rude and obnoxious people that day. I cannot take credit for coining it because somebody already created a website, http://nyrixxblog.socialdystrophy.com, having apparently had similar experiences with humans.

According to Dictionary.com, “dystrophy” can be defined as “faulty or inadequate development” faulty or inadequate nutrition or development”. Dystrophy would then imply that there were some social skills in the first place, which may not necessarily be the case and may eliminate the term as an appropriate label for what we are experiencing. I may be generalizing, and I know there are many pitfalls in that and there are many socially adept people out there, young and old, but the problem seems to be getting worse and worse with the advent of new communication technologies (being invented almost daily). Let me elaborate and provide some poignant examples as well as potential solutions.

I was at the market the other day looking for my rewards card before placing my items on the conveyor (there was no line when I arrived and few customers in sight). Before I had a chance to hand my card to the cashier, some middle aged guy rushes up and starts putting his shopping items on the conveyor. As they whizzed past me on their way to the cashier, I looked back and politely asked "would it be OK if I continued to put my items on the conveyor and finish checkout?" while the cashier looked on in dismay. The man, who was accompanied by his teenage son, glared at me defiantly and stated "I didn't turn the conveyor on!" Really? Is that an answer or any kind of excuse for being rude and in such a hurry that you cannot wait until I complete a simple task? Dumbfounded by his ridiculous answer, I politely asked if he would remove his things so I could continue with my shopping, but his reply cannot can be repeated here, cursing and insisting that I was being rude simply because I wanted to continue my shopping without having to move his out of the way. Let me just say that the situation deteriorated from there with the man using profanity and insulting my character…what an excellent role model for his teenage son!

Then there are the people at the gym who turn the fans around the cardiovascular equipment on without bothering to ask the people who have been there for some time, and do not like the fan blowing on us, if we would mind if they “turned the fan on”. How difficult would it be to say, “excuse me, can I turn this on? Too difficult, obviously, for a social misfit who does not care about anybody but him or herself or does not have the social skills or training to communicate with other humans.

Still at the gym, there are the people, usually young, who barge past us in the locker room on their way to a locker they just cannot live without. Many times there are areas of the locker room totally empty and available, but they NEED THAT locker, cannot wait a few minutes until we are done, or do not have the skills or inclination to say "excuse me". Is that really so difficult?

Then there is the guy in his BMW that lays on his horn when I have the nerve to continue in the lane that I was traveling in after leaving a stop light. If he had not been too busy talking on his cellphone, he would have been cognizant of which lane was his and where he should have been driving. Instead, he thinks I am the moron when in fact he should have been ticketed for an illegal lane change, aggressive driving, and disturbing the peace.

I could go on and on and experience numerous instances like those above DAILY! Really? Daily? Yes, DAILY! Well, why is this happening daily and why does it seem to be getting worse as time goes on? In this reporter’s opinion, technology and a lack of clear core values are at the root of the problem.

Technology has grown so quickly and become so engrained in our culture, our lives, that we “think” we cannot live without it. How many times have you seen a car swerving all over the road, only to catch up to the driver and find them chatting or texting on their cellphone? If you live in any metropolitan area, or anywhere else for that matter, you see it all the time. Everywhere you go people young and old are talking on the phone or texting their friends about some inane subject, completely oblivious to what is happening around them or considering what affect their behavior may have on others. They simply do not care! It has gotten to such an extreme that people are texting the person standing next to them or in the same room! C’mon folks, is it really that demanding or difficult to look someone in the eye, open your mouth, and emit the words it takes so long to “thumb” on your smartphone (a misnomer).

The ability of humans to communicate is slowly deteriorating because of technology. Whether it is cellphones or computers, the internet or email, laptops or iPads – you name it – technology has made us (yes, I am not immune) not only more productive, but lazy! Before cellphones, computers, and the internet became commonplace, which was not all that long ago, people waited until they returned home to call a friend or even write a letter which may have taken several days to arrive once posted, and everybody seemed to be a lot happier, a lot less stressed than we are today. If technology and human behavior continue at this pace, the ability to communicate verbally, face to face, making eye contact and the whole shebang, is going to become a thing of the past. It is quickly becoming clear, particularly in the younger generations who have grown up with these technologies, that human communication is deteriorating rapidly and we should all be very concerned about that dilemma.

Finally, I believe it is a loss of focus on or undefined core values that can account for much of the self-centered behavior we see daily. The world in general and our country specifically, politically, corporately and personally, has lost touch with what is important to us – our values. I see it day in and day out in my practice, when I ask a client to tell me what they value, they look at me like I have a penis growing out of my forehead. “My values? What do you mean exactly?” When I explain what values are, they routinely come up with “my family” or “my job”, still not quite grasping the concept.

Values, according to Encarta Dictionary, are “the accepted principles or standards of a person or group”. They define what we are about and, if clear and well defined, help us act in a moral, ethical, or legal way when presented with novel or familiar situations. That sounds pretty important! But few people can tell me what their values are and that is pretty scary. It is no wonder that people are running around thinking of little but themselves when they have no moral, ethical, or legal map to help get where they are going. That is why the world and our nation are in crisis, financial and otherwise, at this moment and it is also why people do not care about anybody but themselves.

Put down the phone, clarify your values (what is important to you), look people in the eye when you speak to them, treat people with dignity and respect, and act on your values...even if you are having a bad day, or are anxious or depressed...be selfless, not selfish and the world will be a better place to live.

More on values in a future post…

Key Words: social, dystrophy, values, value, core, inept, incompetent, CombatCounselor, combat, counselor, psychology, therapy, CBT, ignorant, ignorance, SocialDystrophy, technology, phone, text